


Kisame's troubling daydreams featuring Uchiha Itachi

by HeavenOnFire



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Fetish, Humor, M/M, Sexual Frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:53:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2627456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenOnFire/pseuds/HeavenOnFire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kisame is bored and starts imagining things. And somehow, everything gets intense pretty quickly.<br/>It involves rainy weather and a schoolgirl outfit</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nosebleed Alarm

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this by a doujinshi Luxurien is coloring. I talked to her and she sent me lots of Itachi in different costumes. Hot and hilarious. :-D

**Nosebleed Alarm**

The first thing about being a Nuke-nin is, and stays, having too much time.

Kisame doesn't have too much obligations. He's not like Kakuzu, always chasing after the next chance of making some money. He's not like Sasori either, who always searches the world for promising materials.

He's a free man, with too much time on his hands, since neither him nor his partner currently has another job other than that what they get from the Akatsuki. That is the reason, why the infamous Kisame is sitting in a cave middle of nowhere, cleaning his grand sword that doesn't really needs to be cleaned.

As his rag strokes over his blade, the calming noise makes him sink into a dreamlike trance. He entertained himself with imagination of battles. He walks his mind though difficult sequences of movements, fighting an imaginary opponent. His first choice is and stays Uchiha Itachi. Having almost defeated Itachi in his imagination, Kisame looks up to his partner who sits at the other end of their cave, his face buried in some scroll he had picked up in the last town.

Suddenly, an image of Itachi being a schoolboy emerges in his mind. As Kisame watches his partner, blinking, he wonders what Itachi would look like if he actually puts on an uniform. Of course, Kisame knows what his partner wears underneath that long coat. But he has never seen Itachi in other clothing, though. Except from his ANBU uniform when they first met.

Closing his eyes, Kisame choose to indulge his fantasy. He chuckles to himself as he imagines Itachi in a school girl uniform. The white and navy would suit his partner well. Itachi is so slender, no doubt he could pass for a pretty girl. Not only that, one that could make all the real school-girls mad with jealousy. Humming, Kisame grins, thinking about Itachi's bare legs and his well-formed ass. Of course, following those images would be the inevitable poses a school-girl makes to impress.

Jumping around and dancing around, Itachi turns and lets his long black hair flow in the magical wind that comes out of no where. With pink hearts and shining stars as background, the school-girl blows Kisame a kiss. Itachi winks, making his long eye-lashes spread sparkles around him. Those big, black eyes gaze up at him, while Itachi puts a finger close to his lips. He gives Kisame a very cute smile as his face blushes furiously. The school-girl Itachi should be shy, Kisame tells himself. It would just be out of character for a school-girl to be bold or direct.

Kisame likes that shy Itachi, that obviously has a crush on him. The innocent girl whispers something Kisame can't hear. But of course he knows that it was a confession of long, hidden love. As he glaces down at his partner dressed like the dream of every man, he tells himself he should act surprised. And respond. He just doesn't have the heart to hurt this cute, little girl. And he can't get enough of his partner dressed like this.

He wants to ask if Itachi has a sister or something, but then remembers that his partner was proficient in Kage-bunshin no jutsu. Another Itachi in school-girl outfit puffs into existence. Gazing, the new Itachi wonders if Kisame would prefer the other. A pout forms on his lips, bringing Kisame into an awkward position where he has to decide between these two identical school-girl Itachis.

What he hell, the thinks. He tells them that he likes both of them and would like any Itachi that shows up. On that mark, many more of his deadly partner in innocent white and navy walks into his view. Suddenly, all he could see were short skirts and creamy white legs. They all watch him like he's some kind of god and only he could save them from their suffering or solitude. Feeling the tension building up very quickly in his loins, Kisame grinned. How the hell should he know which Itachi he prefers. They were all beautiful and they all need him.

As he hesitates, one Itachi starts talking to another, telling him or her with all the intensity of sex-crazed school-girl that Kisame belongs only to him or her. Another steps in, disagreeing. One smart Itachi gathers his courage and throws himself at Kisame, making the big Nuke-nin catch him and hold him in his arm. He can almost really feel the warmth that body causes in him and wants to lick those pink lips. Having one Itachi daring the first step, other Itachis followed. Before Kisame knows what happened, he's surrounded by many eager school-girls, all fighting for his attention.

He swears that he would have a sore cock after today.

As he places one hand on one Itachi's ass, he could almost cum at that instant. It feels so good. He lets his hand wander under Itachi's short skirt and snaps the quill-panty. Something hot drops from his nose and Kisame doesn't care. He is distracted by another Itachi whispering at his ear, saying very naughty things in very innocent words.

He ignores the furious blush in his own face. Never before in his live has any girl said such things to him. But he is the man here, dammit. He must not show any sign of weakness. This innocent girl, these girls depend on him and probably expect him to be way more experienced. He has to give that boy or girl an unforgettable first time. He grins at the Itachi in his arm, acting all cool and matured. He wraps one arm around Itachi's slender waist and pulls him closer. His whole concentration was on this one now, seeing only his partner in a fantasy.

“I will climb you like a tree, Kisame-sama,” School-girl Itachi whispers, blushing just as hard as the shark.

“How about you sit in my lap instead, Itachi-chan?” He feels very manly right now.

The school-girl obeys reluctantly, raising slender fingers near his mouth as if wondering if that is okay. Kisame pulls him onto his lap and immediately moans because it was amazing. He wants Itachi in his lap, admiring him as if he's gorgeous. He has Itachi's lean arms around his neck and leans back against the stone. Oh, he will fuck this little one until Itachi begs for mercy. Wouldn't that be great?

He notices that this little Itachi is very close to his mouth, apparently licking at the drool he has on the corner of his mouth. Itachi's hot tongue was the most arousing thing in his life. He hears Itachi give out a surprised gasp, knowing that it is because Itachi has felt his already hurting cock. He grinned, like a man would in his situation. Just when he's about to put it out, showing this school-girl Itachi what's awaiting him, he feels darkness growing around him.

Looking up, Kisame almost screamed. The army of Itachis around him are all glaring at him, emitting the killing intent of hundreds of hungry girls that has been left aside. Their faces are darkened by shadows and their eyes burning with fire. They all look like they would butcher him if he doesn't take them as well. A faint sound comes from them, like they were all muttering some incantation. He could swear that they were summon a demon to kill him.

Maybe this school-girl fantasy wasn't so good. He was a legendary warrior indeed, but he's still scared of the intensity of rejected school-girls.

He shakes his head quickly, trying to dissolve his fantasy. It's harder than said, in both matters. He opens his eyes, trying to see the real world and not that crazy place that is about to become either an orgy or a slaughter house. He breaths out when he finally managed to make theses school-girls puff out of existence one by one. It's strange, because he even encouraged himself into imagining the one Itachi on his lap crying because he has to go now.

He must be seriously bored, Kisame thinks.

“Kisame,” Itachi's deep voice does nothing to kill his mood. The raven stood right before him, towering over the shark. His cloak is casually pulled over his slender shoulders, allowing Kisame to see Itachi's long legs. His eyes follows Itachi's form, to his thighs and then loins and up to his chest, and finally to his face. The Uchiha doesn't stir, his red eyes fixing Kisame to his spot but carrying no real accusation.

“Yes, Itachi-san?” He has to bid on his tongue. He almost let “Itachi-chan” slip. That might have been his death sentence.

“It feels like a storm is headed our way,” The Uchiha said, casually looking at the entry of the cave. “We should seek more suitable refuge before it reaches us. I have no intention of being trapped in here for the night.”

“I agree.” Honestly, Kisame has no idea what Itachi was talking about. He still has difficulty getting rid of the school-girl Itachi image in his head. They are persistent, he curses. And his cock his hurting because it was hard beyond reason. Right now, he's just glad that Samehada is obscuring the view.

“No reason to linger, then.” The Raven turns on the spot, making his hair fly around.

It reminds Kisame of the Itachi against a pink background and blowing him a kiss. Instantly, he felt the release he has been yawning for. He barely has time to press his lips together, suffocating the grunt that was coming from deep down him. It was really good for he didn't even touch himself. The power of the Uchiha, he mused. Even as an imagination, he could bring Kisame pleasure.

Yet, coming in his pants as a grown man was beyond embarrassing. Looking up at the raven, Kisame almost sighed aloud for the Uchiha keeps his back on him. He has paused in his stride, but doesn't turn around. Kisame watches Itachi take a breath and tilt his head a little. Then, the object of his fantasy simply walks away, like nothing has happened.

He swears to himself, the first thing he would do when they find a hotel was jerking off until nothing was inside him anymore. If Itachi only knew what was in his mind, Kisame was sure the other members of Akatsuki would have Sushi for dinner today.


	2. Abord Mission!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisame has a very dirty mind and Itachi's eyes are killing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just going through all the stuff about KIsaIta and I stumbled upon this 2. chapter. I didn't even remember writing it, but it's not bad.  
> So, please have it and don't take it too seriously.

**Kisame’s troubling daydreams featuring Uchiha Itachi**

 

 2.  **Abort Mission!!!**

  

The second thing about being a Nuke-nin is and will always be, he’s stuck with his partner.

Surviving alone isn’t really Kisame’s problem. His problem is that he has come to like his young partner. No, no, no! Not like, tolerate. He doesn’t like Itachi-san, he just doesn’t hate him as much as he hates other shinobis. Perhaps he enjoys Itachi’s presence, it does have something calm about it, much like an ocean without wind.

And Kisame can’t really argue with the allure of the ocean. As a creature of the sea, Itachi-san is all he needs to live.

Wrong! Not Itachi-san, the ocean!

Realizing his own stupid line of thought, Kisame shakes his head violently. He absolutely does not need the mental image of a Itachi coming out of the water, or what Itachi would look when he was a mermaid, or merman. Instead, he sets his eyes on the real person occupying his thought.

He chokes on his own spit and covers it up by pressing a hand on his mouth. “What is this?” he asks, his eyes getting larger by the minute. Right in front of him, not even five yards away, Itachi is holding a cute outfit with a lot of black and white quill that shouldn’t be anywhere near the kinslayer.

“My disguise for this evening.” Itachi answers matter of factly. “The woman we are to kidnap is organizing a party tonight. Deidara and I are to infiltrate it as serving maids.”

Kisame gapes at him. He doesn’t really understand what is happening right in front of him, but doesn’t want to say anything to ruin the mood. Because no matter how ridiculous the situation is, he just can’t take his eyes off the genius who’s watching his own reflection.

Licking his lips, another image flashes before Kisame’s eyes. In his mind, Itachi has already changed into that obscenely short skirt, his long legs in cute white stocking. Sometimes, Kisame is really impressed by the level of his own imagination. No detail is left out, from the black lace shoes to the little ribbon on his chest, from the fly at his throat to the accessory on his hair, everything of it looks great on Itachi-san.

Leaning back, Kisame grins to himself and wonders how well his partner will conduct his disguise. A maid dressed like him should fill in a certain archetype. Itachi, the Maid should be shy, cute and perhaps a little clumsy. He would bring Kisame tea and dango, both balanced on a large black tray. But just before he set it down, he stumbles and the cup of liquid landed in Kisame’s lap.

Maid Itachi gasps, apologizing hastily while his face heats up with embarrassment. He quickly pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and starts wiping the tea away, not noticing how close his hand is to Kisame’s crotch. The big patron suppresses a wince. The tea wasn’t as hot as the image of a blushing Itachi bending over to stroke his hardening cock.

“It’s not a big deal,” he says kindly to the little girl.

“I think it’s very big,” Maid Itachi replies, his cheeks now rosy with his flush. He glances up at Kisame and bites down on his lower lip. Which a mixture of maiden shyness and desperate flirtation, Maid Itachi puts his hand back on Kisame’s thigh. “Is there anyway I can make it up to you?”

“Huh?” Was all that Kisame manages. Was Itachi suggesting….

“If I don’t get good reviews, I’ll be fired,” he whispers, slowly kneeling down before his patron. “Please, Kisame-sama, let me make it up.”

How could Kisame deny him/her? Whatever Maid Itachi wants, Kisame would give him. It’d be a shame if such a cute girl as Itachi would be fired just because Kisame. It is his fault in the first place. If he didn’t flash the Maid his usual charismatic grin when she was bringing him his order, she wouldn’t have tumbled.

So, Kisame put a hand on her hair and licks his own lips. He tells her that his review would depend on her performance, to which she promises to give it her all. With trembling fingers and shaking breath, Maid Itachi takes position between Kisame’s legs and unbuttoned his pants.

At the sight of Kisame’s large cock, she gasps. Swallowing, Maid Itachi leaned forward, opening her sweet little mouth. Kisame hisses first when she kisses the tip of his cock and then let out a long moan when her tongue drags over his sensitive skin. Maid Itachi isn’t bad at all. Her gentle fingers caresses the base of his cock as she swallows him.

Kisame hasn’t been this hard for a long time. He moves his hip towards her, wanting to make her swallow him even deeper. The way she moves her head, her lips and everything that he could feel makes him want to fuck her mouth, hard. Perhaps he should just grab the girl and take her right there!

He places his hand on her black raven hair and pushes her down towards the base. She gags for a moment, but follows his lead without hesitation. The way she sucks him, Kisame might believe she wants to drain him dry. With eagerness only a hungry girl can manage, Itachi is devouring him.

Just as he is about to come hard, the door to her cafe/teahouse flew open. Deidara screams loudly at what Kisame was doing to Itachi as Hidan yells a stream of profanity. The shock of being discovered by his comrades and the way Itachi takes him into his mouth until Kisame was completely buried send him over the edge. He came hard, spreading all he had into the soft mouth of Maid Itachi.

Gasping for air, Kisame closes his eyes and tries very hard not to listen to the people calling his name. He can’t deal with them right now, not when Itachi just gave him the best blow-job he has ever received.

“Kisame!” his partner was saying, his voice sharp and demanding.

“You did good,” Kisame manages to whisper, still trying to calm himself.

“Kisame!” Itachi says his name again and Kisame could just come a second time. No one in the world can make his insides flutter only by saying his name.

Slowly, the swordsman opens his eyes, a relaxed smile on his face. He’ll thank Itachi properly later by doing the same to him as Itachi did to Kisame. But before him is not the Maid Itachi who had just blew his mind out. Standing tall and expressing not one ounce of femininity, Itachi pins him down with a crimson stare.

“Itachi-san?” Kisame’s voice is shaking. What is happening here? Why is Itachi looking at him like this? And why is Itachi wearing a tuxedo?

“Do you know how to make a bowtie?” The genius asks, holding out a piece of white cloth towards Itachi.

Dumbfounded, Kisame nodded.

“Then help me, please,” his partner asked, turning his back on Kisame.

Blinking, the bigger man rises from his armchair. The front of his pants feels funny, as if he has just…. But that can’t be true, right? He didn’t come just from imagining Itachi-san in a maid outfit.

Itachi put his collar up and wrapped the white bowtie around his neck. He stands right in front of Kisame, not even a feet apart. Desperately trying to avoid the glances of someone who prides himself on his visual power, Kisame prays that he isn’t too obvious. When he finishes the bowtie around Itachi’s neck, he sighs out and quickly takes a step back.

“All done,” he rasps, not trusting his own voice. “So, you’re a waiter tonight?”

“It gives me the advantage of invisibility.” The Uchiha answers, looking at his own very handsome reflection in the mirror. “Deidara will be the maid.” Then, the Uchiha fixes his red eyes on Kisame in the mirror. “You will not be needed for tonight. Perhaps, you should take a shower instead.”

Kisame gapes at his partner as the man leaves the room. Looking down on himself, Kisame wants to rewind time and erase everything from existence. The front of his pants is indeed of a darker color. Even if he tries to tell himself that Itachi was too busy with his disguise to notice, he just knows that Itachi has seen it all.

Sighing, Kisame thinks that he probably won’t live for very much longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisame is so dead!  
> But I have a third chapter somewhere. See you soon. :-)


	3. Heartattack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisame is sure Itachi will be the death of him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the third and final installment of this crack fic. I can't believe how much I enjoyed writing this!

**Kisame’s troubling daydreams featuring Uchiha Itachi**

**03\. Heartattack**

 

The third thing about being a Nuke-nin is that they are surrounded by danger. 

Kisame doesn’t understand why Konoha never sent anyone to hunt down their most notorious criminal and doesn’t dare to ask his partner. So when they face the hunters that came to arrest or kill them, Kisame recognizes them as the special unit from his own former village. 

He feels no allegiance to Kiri anymore and knows that his partner is merciless. Still, the fight takes all night with them both killing the ones loyal to a village that cares nothing about its warriors. Kisame grins triumphantly at his younger partner who faces him in perfect condition, not a single hair out of place. The danger is over, so Kisame doesn’t understand why his partner thinks it necessary to make two clones. 

Then he realizes that it is him seeing triple before he can’t feel his limbs anymore. He tumbles to the floor with Itachi shouting his name. The Uchiha pulls a senbon out of his bicep and Kisame faints. 

When he wakes, he is lying in a hospital bed. His first thought is that he’s been captured and taken back to Kiri. They are treating his wounds so he is still fit to answer their questions when they interrogate him. Then the door opens and a slender nurse with long black hair comes in, a clipboard clutched to her chest. She turns around to lock the door, then pulls the breathing mask from her face. 

“You’re awake,” she/he says and Kisame blinks. 

Oh shit! “Itachi-san?” he asks, trying very, very hard not let his eyes wander all over the pink uniform. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“You were poisoned,” his partner explains, coming to stand next to Kisame. “It was beyond my ability to save you. I had no choice.”

“You admitted me to a hospital?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the genius rolled his eyes. “I left you on their doorstep.”

“And now you’re a nurse,” Kisame wants to chuckle. He thinks one of his deepest kinks might come to life right now. Then he shakes his head violently, banishing the thoughts from his mind. Itachi is in disguise. He probably snuck in to check on him and could only find a nurse’s uniform.

It doesn’t matter why Itachi is dressed like this, the fact that he is makes Kisame’s blood run faster. He can’t help that being taken care of by a pretty nurse was a dream of his since he was little. He always wants those beautiful angels to touch him in inappropriate places and perhaps ride him a little while he can’t defend himself. Call him a pervert, but who doesn’t have a fantasy like that. 

Kisame swallowed thickly. “My limbs are still numb.” 

“That’s not good,” the genius frowns and sits down on his bed. “We don’t have much time. I need to get you out of here before the doctors arrive. I don’t feel like explaining to them who we are.”

“What do we do?”

“We make your blood circulate.” Itachi suggests and it sounds logical. Just when Kisame wants to ask how Itachi is going to do it, his partner’s hand reaches under the cover and wraps around his cock. “No better way to do it than this.”

“What?” he gasps. “Are you sure?”

“Do you object?”

“Absolutely not!” Kisame manages to bark before Itachi’s hand lands on his mouth to silence him.

Itachi gets rid of the blanket in record time and climbs onto him in one swift move. He spread his legs, again covered by white stockings and settled himself right above Kisame’s stiffening cock. The wounded man gasps frantically as he feel his blood rush through his body. With wonder, he watches Itachi lift his uniform up to reveal his lower half, without any underwear. 

Itachi was one naughty nurse, Kisame thinks he is in love. 

This shouldn’t feel so right and easy. He knows how sex between two men works, he knows Itachi shouldn’t be able to glide down his cock so smoothly, taking his breath away. But at the same time, he really doesn’t care because it feels too good to finally have Itachi wrapping himself around him. 

He can’t help but moan at the sensation, at the warmth and pleasure. He closes his eyes and concentrates on nothing but the way Itachi feels. He doesn’t dare touch his partner, not when anything he does can stop this fantasy. He doesn’t dare look either, afraid of the eyes that can kill him with one single glance. 

He opens his mouth to lick his lips, but finds Itachi’s long fingers there. He sucks on them, imagining sucking on something else in his mind. His legs twitch and his hands itch. He wants to touch and caress. He wants to grip Itachi’s hip tight and make the smaller man ride him into oblivion. He can’t handle this anymore. It was all too much, all too slow and too excruciatingly arousing. If Itachi lingers there anylonger, Kisame might die. 

“Move!” 

Kisame snaps his eyes open at Itachi’s command. The raven was glaring at him, his eyes spinning wildly and burning in fury. His cheeks are slightly pink, just like the uniform he’s wearing. There is something shy in Itachi’s expression, but also something bold. It was that schoolgirl’s viciousness, the maid’s innocence and everything else Kisame has ever wanted. It was his partner wanting him, needing him, demanding him, but still too afraid to ask. 

His hands come up to wrap around Itachi’s narrow hip. He hears the raven’s gasp and knows that Itachi actually likes this. His partner bites down on his own lip and nods. It gives the swordsman all the encouragement he needs. He thrusts up, feeling the pleasure washing over him. He can see Itachi tremble, the shiver that comes with being fucked. Kisame thrusts up again and again, his muscles taut and ready. He grins at his partner’s reaction and lets his body do what feels natural. 

Itachi presses both his hands over his mouth to soften the moan. Sweat appears on his skin, making him glow in the dim light. Kisame can feel the air shift when Itachi’s hair moves, he can smell the rich scent of arousal coming from his smaller partner, even if the man never removed his uniform. 

With a swift move, he pushes his partner off of himself. He immediately follows, positioning himself over the smaller boy. For an instant, Itachi looks scared when Kisame pushed both his hands down on either side of his ears. Kisame’s grin has never been very soothing, and right now, he doesn’t want to know just how monstrous he appears. 

But Itachi knows Kisame will never hurt him. Itachi was his partner and all Kisame wants is to make him feel good. The younger shinobi can read Kisame like a book. He smirks at the sharkman before slowly and seductively, spreads his legs. 

Damn, Itachi was very, very flexible. 

Kisame almost drools when he looks down at the man whom he is now allowed to fuck. He was just too beautiful, too captivating. This little raven here has been toying with his mind for a long time, always leaving Kisame more breathless than the before. Now, he will teach Itachi a lesson about how it feels to be fucked. 

Itachi almost screams when he pushes in again. Instead, the raven bites his lip, his eyes pressed closed. If not for the directions his firm hands give, Kisame might think he was hurting his angelic nurse. Instead, he follows Itachi’s signs as always and starts pounding. Each time he thrusts, he reaches deeper. Each time, he grows closer to the man/boy/girl he loves. 

Itachi drags his fingers through his hair. He draws Kisame close and presses a deep kiss onto Kisame’s lips. As their bodies reach for each other, so do their tongues. Kisame licks and bites, covers every bit of Itachi’s mouth. It’s so sweet, so unbelievably sweet. It’s so warm and soft, it feels so good that Kisame forgets everything. 

He just wants Itachi, wants him to be Kisame’s. He wants to mark the raven so everybody knows whom Itachi belongs to. He lifts Itachi’s hip from the creaking bed and pounds even harder. The pink uniform obscures too much of that perfect body, so Kisame rips it open. He touches the lean body in front of him, his hand moving closer and closer to the perfect cock Itachi hides away from him. When his hand wraps around it, Itachi’s whole body shakes. Kisame feels every vibration in it and the sheer force of it almost makes him come. 

Itachi isn’t particularly loud. He is actually very quiet. Yet, every bit of sound he makes resounds a thousand fold in Kisame’s mind, making him even more eager to please. He pulls Itachi up to himself, holding him there with one arm. Itachi wraps his legs around Kisame, bringing them even closer. He leans into Kisame’s touch, his cock rubbing against Kisame’s abdomen. 

They have never been so close before. Not once in all the years they have been partners, has Itachi allowed Kisame to see this side of him. Itachi’s panting hard, his eyes wide open with both fascination and the fear of missing anything. Kisame can now study every detail in Itachi’s face, from the count of his eye lash to the pattern of his Sharingan. 

This cannot be real, he tells himself. This is too good to be real. This must be an illusion or a dream or he was actually dead and this was heaven. Itachi is his angel who has come to grant him his wishes. Itachi was perfect and Kisame doesn’t deserve him. 

The raven gasps again, louder and more frantic now. He has a helpless expression on his face, as if the reality of all this escapes him as well. He claws at the sharkman’s shoulder and whimpers. “Kisame, please, I’m so close… please harder!”

Kisame doesn’t need to be asked twice. He was a fucking huge man and fucking hard is what he does. He takes Itachi’s hip into his hands and almost smashes it down on himself. Kneeling on the bed, manhandling Itachi, Kisame feels like a god. A sex god who can keep this up all day without tiring. He can fuck Itachi all day and never get bored. 

Itachi comes clinging to him with a hot breath at his ear. He shakes and shivers, spreading his cum over Kisame’s muscles. The white was a stark contrast against his flushed blue skin and Kisame thinks that they belong there. He watches the rest drip from Itachi’s pink cock as he drives himself to his release. He comes hard, filling the raven with his seed and feeling better than he could even describe.

A moment later, Kisame collapses in the bed with Itachi still wrapped around him. He hears the raven grunt when his back hits the mattress. The afterglow leaves them trembling, drawing long moans from the two criminals. He rolls down from his partner, almost falls out of bed if not for Itachi’s insane reflexes that keeps him in place. For a minute or so, all Kisame can do was staring at the ceiling and wonder what the hell just happened. 

Despite all evidence, he just can’t believe that this really happened. 

After what feels like seconds following this thought, someone slaps his face. “Get up!” Itachi orders. He was back in his Akatsuki cloak, his hair tied back and a damaged Konoha headband on his forehead. Itachi throws his cloak at him and repeats. “Get up, we need to go!”

Still slightly confused, Kisame looks down on himself. Yes, he is still naked. Yes, there’s still cum on his belly. And yes, Itachi is definitely still standing there, staring at Kisame who is very naked and covered in cum right now. 

“What just happened?” he hears himself ask and sees Itachi frown. 

“Put your cloak on,” the raven seems really impatient. “We need to leave.”

Kisame’s eyes widen. Has he just imagined all this? Again? Was it an illusion? Does Itachi know that Kisame was just thinking about him in a nurse’s outfit? Is he going to kill Kisame right now?

“I won’t repeat myself,” the kinslayer says. He has determination on his face and murder in his eyes. 

Purely out of habit and because he doesn’t really want to die naked, covered in cum, Kisame jumps from the bed. He dresses himself quickly, thanking Itachi for taking care of Samehada. With his sword strapped to his back, Kisame might still have a chance of dying with some dignity. At least he will get the fight he always wanted. 

They jump out of the window and fly towards the trees. Kisame doesn’t complain about going commando while traveling with high speed. They don’t stop until a few hours later, when they arrive at an abandoned temple that looks a lot like the one they occupied last night. 

The swordsman doesn’t dare relax even after Itachi activates the seals that protect them from the outside. He wonders if Itachi wants to kill him here, right now, or wait until his guard is down. It’s so much like Itachi to murder him silently, instead of demanding a duel for Kisame’s insulting, violating and undignifying thoughts. He is so busy imagining the scenarios of his death, he almost misses Itachi taking off his cloak and revealing a half destroyed nurse’s uniform. It still looks good on him, though. His firm, little ass still looks hot and the stockings still look cute. When Itachi starts to shrug out of it, Kisame just thinks of himself getting lucky a second time today. 

Wait, a second time? 

“What the hell is happening?” is the first thing he says when he regains his ability for speech. “Why are you dressed like that? What are you doing? Are those bite marks? Is that a hickey?”

Itachi snaps around to glare at him with burning Sharingan. Kisame freezes. Itachi only glares like that when he is too angry for words. He reserves that look for the worst of the hunters they face. None who has seen him like this ever survives. He only glares like that when he is preparing for eternal black flames. 

“What makes you so afraid of me?” Itachi hisses. “What did I do to deserve your hate?”

“I...” Kisame stutters. “Hate? I don’t hate you! And I’m not afraid of you, Itachi-san. But if you want to kill me, at least kill me in a fight!”

“Why would you think that?”

Yes, why would he think that? “Aren’t you going to kill me?”

“Why should I?” Itachi crosses his arms over his chest and boldly stares up at Kisame. “Explain yourself!”

Just how the hell is he going to explain himself? He can’t tell Itachi that he has been fantasising about him in various outfits, one more effeminate than the other. Swallowing hard, Kisame collects his thoughts. He needs to be calm for this. He needs to understand what is going on. “What happened in the hospital?”

Itachi looks both confused and insulted. He glowered at Kisame, with what looks like a pout on his lips. “What do you think happened?”

I fantasized about you, again? Kisame can’t answer. 

“You took my virginity!” Itachi snaps. “That’s what happened!”

“What?” Kisame barked. “That was real?”

“Of course it was!” the smaller raven shouted. “Why else would I be wearing this stupid uniform?” he looks down on himself. “I’m wearing stockings!”

“But… but.” Kisame doesn’t know what to think anymore. If that was real, were those times before…

Itachi sighed heavily, his long fingers rubbing at his temple. “I noticed your eyes, how they wander. I don’t disapprove, Kisame. I’ve been giving you hints for months! How can you not notice? You can’t be that bad at spotting genjutsu.” 

Kisame is done with the world. “Those were your… genjutsu?” 

“Of course! What else has the power to draw those reactions from you?”

“But that time in the cave…. The maid uniform… why?”

Itachi rolled his eyes. “Why else, Kisame? You are my partner! I want you!”

Kisame wants to reply something intelligent, but only gaped. He wants to smile and laugh and jump in the air in celebration when he finally understood Itachi’s words. Being himself and always charging head on, Kisame catches Itachi in his arms and kisses him. He doesn't expect Itachi to kiss him back, but the raven does. 

Kisame doesn’t care what Itachi just told him, he doesn’t care that they technically kissed, made out and had sex already. This is their first kiss and this is the one Kisame will always remember. 

When they finally run out of air and need to catch their breath, Kisame lifts Itachi up into his arms. “Do not use your eyes to drop hints again, Itachi-san. You are too subtle and I don’t always get it. Sometimes, I think you don’t realize just how powerful your eyes are.”

Itachi almost chuckles, Kisame can see it. Instead the raven just kisses his temple and whispers. “I didn’t use my eyes. Those were genin level genjutsu, you should have been able to….”

“Shut up!” Kisame grunts. “Itachi-san, please and kiss me! I’ve been tortured long enough.”

“Hn,” Itachi scoffs, but he does what Kisame tells him to. 

The next time they sleep with each other, Kisame is sure it was not a fantasy. Because no matter how vivid his fantasies are, he could never come up with this. 

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. :-) Leave a comment if you like.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I planned on writing more about this. So if there's a costume you want Kisame to fantasize about.... *evil laughs*


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